Well This is Embarrassing - whattheheckisitedgar (2024)

Chapter 1: Chapter 01

Chapter Text

It had to be either astoundingly bad luck or some sort of cosmic debt from the combined misdeeds of her race as a whole. To be snatched up by a mindflayer ship was humiliating enough but to awaken with one of those damned worms in her skull was just taking the piss.

She struggled against her pod, only succeeding in knocking loose a few strands of hair that tickled her nose and stuck to her now damp forehead. Suddenly a distant rumble and roar as a violent tremor shot through the nautiloid rattling her teeth and making her stomach almost jump through her throat. It seems the squids will not be making a clean dash and grab like they had hoped. Whatever just happened it was enough to knock her pod over, the translucent window smashed allowing in a hot gust of air that was more than just her recycled stale breath to filter in through the opening. She wasted no time in scrambling out. If she was going to die today then it wasn’t going to be in a pod on a gods forsaken mindflayer ship.

—

Tav awoke on a beach. The air smelled wretched like sea salt and twisted burning flesh. She laid in the sand, blinking in the sun.

She’d escaped her pod, met a gith with a sense of superiority and unwavering practicality that made her feel right at home. Were those common traits amongst all races formerly enslaved by illithids due to changes in their brains or was it some sort of generation trauma? When you’re subjugated by the sheer psychic prowess of the illithids and your masters need not control you physically to bend you to their will, it makes logical sense to keep all others away for your own protection. Even if they’d developed some resistance to psychic manipulation.

They had stumbled upon a sharran trapped in a pod and though Tav’s immediate inclination was to try to help, the vast amount of unknowns tipped the scales in favor of keeping moving. It would just be easier to keep an eye on one potential backstabber than two (she did not consider the little brain monster on legs which would probably disintegrate to a swift punt), and who knows how long they had to try to figure out the console beside the pod. It didn’t respond to her percussive insistence to release the woman and that was the extent of troubleshooting Tav could offer at the moment. In the end they had left the sharran beating her fists on the glass like surface.

They found their way to the bridge, crawling with all manner of hellbeast. After a brief scuffle and the gith flinging her impressively lanky body a considerable distance towards the helm to take control, suddenly the nautiloid was falling through the sky back in Faerun.

She exhaled deeply, closed her eyes, and took a quick mental inventory of her body before slowly sitting up to blink around at her surroundings. The area didn’t look particularly familiar but that wasn’t a surprise. No immediate dangers in the area that she could see, other than the smoldering nautiloid that was spewing black smoke into the sky. She took a moment to pat down her body. The surprising lack of head trauma was almost discomforting but her limbs seemed to be in working order.

Might as well follow the river. There were bodies littered further along the shore, victims of falling debris and terrible timing. She picked her way through the corpses pilfering bits and bobs that might come in handy, even coming across a couple traps with fresh fish and a book of poems about some god called the Bitch Queen. Not another Drow deity surprisingly, but some sort of half water monstrosity half lady abomination that seemed to enjoy drowning people. Tav cast a wary eye at the calm river before pulling a clam from her pack and tossing it in the water, nodding to herself in approval. Doesn’t hurt to be cautious.

A sound off to her left caught her attention and she turned to peer through the mergrass. A solid mass of rock jutted up from the beach, a large carved door centered along a smooth face of the wall. A woman with a long dark braid was cursing a string of expletives in between hearty swings with her mace at the door. The sunlight glinted off her sharran armor and a strike of recognition hit Tav, this determined door basher was the woman from the pod on the ship. Maybe she was familiar with the area. If Tav approached her and things went south, well it looked like the sharran was alone and was struggling to take on a slightly sturdy door. She might be able to take her down if she needed to. She approached her slowly, clearing her throat as she got closer.

The sharran whipped around quickly, her long braid swinging through the air and her bright green eyes darted to the source of the sound. “Don’t come any closer.” she hissed. Her eyes narrowed in wrathful recognition. “Hey, you left me to die on the ship.”

“Sorry about that, it seemed like a safer alternative than poking buttons hoping to be lucky enough to find the release one before the incinerate one.” Tav offered. The sharran’s face relaxed as she mulled over the sentiment, but suddenly both women found themselves doubled over clutching their skulls as a screaming pain tore through them along with flashes of images, too rapidly to make much out of them.

“The hells was that?!” Tav grunted as the flashes subsided.

“I can only assume it has to do with the little wormy stowaways in our brains. We need to find a healer fast.”

“You don’t happen to know where we are, do you?”

“Can’t say that I do, I was going to try to get to higher ground to see if there were any settlements nearby. That is, after checking in here for supplies.” She jerked her head in the direction of the door. Tav weighed the value of a mystery door prize against revealing more about herself than she had to. This other woman was still a stranger, and while she hadn’t ever met a sharran before she remembered stories about them from her childhood. Granted, most stories from her childhood came in varied flavors of ‘don’t trust strangers.’ Best to play it cautious for now. She turned back to the wreckage of the ship.

“Let’s see if we can find a way up on the other side of this mess.” Tav said before striding off into the smoke and falling ash.

—

“So we’re just going to camp here? In the dirt? Like animals?” Astarion’s voice pitched up in worry.

“Come on Astarion, you were ready to cut her ear to ear earlier, certainly a little camping in the dirt won’t kill you.” Shadowheart teased.

It had been a very long day. Tav wasn’t sure how to soothe over his concerns but it’s not like she carried an inn around in her pack. They were lucky to have stumbled upon what little supplies they had found since walking away from the crash site. They could have probably stayed there but no telling how many of those little leggy brain monsters were roving around the area. As it was they had a fire, she’d managed to find a couple of bed rolls, the fish from the dead fisherman traps had roasted up nicely, and they’d scrounged enough gold to hopefully buy a few tents once they found some semblance of civilization.

“Well not exactly in the dirt. I can take the first watch and you can have one of the bedrolls to rest up in.” she offered. He didn’t look convinced. Maybe that was just his face.

Shadowheart and Tav had stumbled across him in the brush uphill from the crash site. He’d managed to wrestle her to the ground and hold a knife to her throat, which to be fair was a solid strategy for getting the edge when first meeting someone. She’d clocked him in the face with her elbow.

“Yeah she’s more of a punch first ask questions later type.” Shadowheart mumbled to Astarion as she used one of her healing spells on him. The cracking sound of his nose should have brought a smile to her face but it was counterproductive to making alliances. She was really going to have to reign in her more aggressive impulsives, she had two new friends and she’d already almost let one burn to death in a pod and had possibly broken the other’s very pretty face. At least she was keeping her chatterbox mouth on lockdown.

“I’m not feeling very restful.” his soft voice snapped her back into the present. “You go ahead and sleep, I’ll keep watch.”

She tilted her head to the side appraising him. Her instincts wrestled with the ache in her muscles and the call of the dark hollow of a bed roll. If her companions killed her in her sleep at least she wouldn’t have to worry about the mindflayer problem anymore. “If you have any ideas about killing me in my sleep, please do so quickly and quietly.”

His eyes widened and a brash laugh escaped his lips. “My dear, I promise you won’t even know what hit you.”

“Very well, thank you.” she nodded curtly. Tav slipped down into one of the bedrolls scooting as far down into it as possible so that she could be completely covered by the blankets. Who knows what horrible creepy crawly critters could take refuge in one’s ears out here.

She slept like the dead. If she’d known how precious that kind of deep sleep would be in the coming weeks she would have slept in.

—

“Perhaps I should have specified a helping one? Hmm?” The disembodied voice echoed out from the bright purple portal they’d stumbled across. A hand was sticking out and it somehow managed to be just as terse and exasperated as the voice. Apparently answering the original call for help with a solid high five was not what the owner of said hand had in mind. Which is yet another reason why clear communication is important.

Tav and Shadowheart exchanged glances and gave the arm a swift pull, fighting the weight of the body attached to it and the interdimensional sucking of the portal. A handsome man with shoulder length brown hair, half pulled from his face, warm brown eyes, and a smattering of stubble seemed to be attached to the other end of the hand. His smile was easy, a brilliant spark to his eyes that demanded your rapt attention.

“Hello…I’m Gale…”

—

Tav made a mental tally in her head. They’d added a overly wordy wizard, caught back up with the indomitable Laezel, had a decent lead on a creche (whatever that was, Laezel said it was important and might lead to a cure), had stumbled across an old ruin that was in the process of being plundered and walked away with some good supplies. Left behind some new dead bodies and a few old ones. They met a rather lively corpse who seemed to have a penchant for riddles. He’d somehow managed to follow them back to camp and was now eerily posted up on the far side by the river.

“When you said we’d meet again I thought you meant like years from now, not like back at camp.” His hauntedly blue irises set into black sclera stared back at her emotionless. Which is about what she expected for an answer. “You said you knew of me, back in the crypt.”

Again nothing. She made a mental note to see if she could goad one of the others into playing cards with the shriveled potato of a man.

“Um, how much do you know? Exactly?” Tav whispered. Her fingers dipped inside the edge of her armor to absentmindedly rub the metal pendant that hung from her neck. “You know what, you don’t seem like a big talker. How about you keep whatever you think you know to yourself and I’ll see if I can get you something more comfortable than a boat to sleep in. You do sleep, don't you? You were sleeping when we found you?”

“No.”

Tav frowned and chewed her lip. “No to the first part or the second part…you know what it’s none of my business what you do at night. Welcome to camp, let me know if I can get you anything.” She always talked faster when she was nervous.

She would try to ignore his spooky skeletal presence and focus on the big win of the day: tents. Being able to see into each other’s heads made privacy a precious commodity and she beamed with pride as she crossed the camp back to hers. She opened the flap and tossed her pack, discarded armor, and bedroll inside before finding a seat amongst the group around the fire. Shadowheart and Astarion were sharing a particularly dusty bottle of ceremonial wine as Gale passed Tav a plate with a small array of slices of cheese, bread, and cured meat.

“Normally back at my tower in Waterdeep I’d have put together a fine meal for even this small of a gathering but I’m afraid we’re limited to the supplies from that rather belligerent gnome and his crew.” he mused. At the mere mention of Waterdeep Shadowheart and Astarion cast smug knowing looks to one another and then imbibed from their cups. A secret drinking game perhaps.

Apparently he used to be some fancy well-to-do wizard back in Waterdeep, so much so that he didn’t even have a last name; he was just Gale of Waterdeep. Gods forbid there be another wizard named Gale in town, your options were to move or change your name. Or maybe murder Gale. Although from what little he’d told her that would be an extremely bad idea. He’d expressed this like it was a novel notion, like it was uncommon for someone to be opposed to the imminent demise at the hands of stabby strangers?

“I’m sure if that nasty little wretch were alive instead of us he’d consider himself the lucky one at having scored all of our goodies.” Astarion raised his goblet high in the air, weaving it around to physically punctuate his words before bringing it back to his pale lips for a deep sip. Tav took a tentative bite of the small dry sandwich she’d made herself. The bread was on the stale side but the cheese was decent. She wrinkled her nose at the goblet of wine Astarion offered her and reached for the water bladder she kept on her hip.

“Strong, silent, and terribly restrained.” he sighed as he poured the contents into his own cup.

“The bottle smells like musty old rat piss and I doubt the constitution of the seal, but far be it from me to force my standards upon others.” Tav shrugged. Alcohol had never agreed with her. She didn’t need a night of cold sweats and night terrors or the risk of blathering on unfiltered to strangers, even if they were all in the same squid boat so to speak.

Across the fire Shadowheart coughed and sputtered, either choking to death on said rat piss or laughing, it was hard to tell. Astarion whipped his scowl from Tav to Shadowheart, who once her coughing had subsided placed a hand on her throat and croaked “Te Curo.”

“Wrong pipe. That burned a bit.” she rasped. Tav smiled to herself and poked at the fire, hearing footsteps she looked up to see Laezel had wandered over, sword raised.

“Has one of you sprouted tentacles?”

“Alas no, we’re just choking to death on this swill.” Astarion offered her the bottle. Laezel leaned over to sniff the open mouth of the bottle before snatching it up in her long lean fingers and taking a long drawl.

“It is terrible but not poisoned.” she turned on her heel, walking away with the bottle firmly clutched in hand. “Fetch me should one of you require a quick death in the face of ceremorphosis.”

Tav smiled in earnest. The gith was completely alien but familiar in a way that eased her nerves. She liked her straightforward approach to things, even if it sometimes was the equivalent of taking a hammer to a delicate reliquary. Gale adjusted his position by the fire, the movement caught her attention and she was suddenly aware of his eyes on her chest. Cheeky little magic man, I will snap you in half.

“Tav, that is a lovely necklace. Do I detect a hint of magic?” Gale leaned in too close as his fingers picked up the pendant dangling around her neck. She could smell him, amber citrus, and something woody, almost earthy, with a hint of old parchment. His eyes moved from the necklace to peer down into hers. They were brown peppered with gold flecks in the firelight. He had a light sprinkle of freckles that diffused the subtle glow coming from the veins on the side of his cheek. She wasn’t sure if it was the flickering from the fire but the glow seemed to pulse with his breath. A hot flush welled up in her cheeks. He was entirely too close. The tadpole in her head squirmed trying to reach out to his, and she flinched as she clamped down on the sensation.

“Gale I’d watch the personal space near that one if I were you, I can pull off a nose with character but I’m not sure yours could take a beating should she spasm and you suddenly find yourself connecting with a stray elbow or knee.” Astarion quipped in warning.

“Besides, a broken nose is a snoring nose and we already have a sleep mumbler in our merry little band.” he turned to bat his long eyelashes at Shadowheart who took issue with the accusation. Tav used the distraction to slip away into her tent.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text

They’d arrived at the Emerald Grove just in time to help some humans (one of which seemed to be the human definition of brave adventurer but also smelled of sulfur) defend the gate from a small pack of goblins. Once inside, Tav was overtaken by the natural beauty of the grove. The bickering of a tiefling and one of the blood soaked humans that had been outside the gate faded to the background as she spied all manner of lush greenery and flowers.

“There are children here you idiot and you led them straight for us!” the tiefling bellowed. Gale had been trying to interject to ask about a healer or local wizards but was being summarily ignored while the two other men flung verbal barbs back and forth.

“You just left the druid?! The situation is tense enough as it is, they’ve already started the right of thorns and now you’ve led goblins here and lost their leader?” the tiefling’s eyes burned. Before she could cover the distance, the human co*cked his arm back and launched his fist into the tiefling’s sharp scarred jaw.

He must have caught him by surprise in just the right spot because the tiefling went down like a rumpled sack of laundry, a harsh counter argument to the war tempered exterior and flaming eyes shielded by his commanding brow. Tav knelt to offer him a helping hand as the human spat and stomped off.

“He seems like a massive prick. You must be Zevlor, we ran into a couple of your scouts in the woods yesterday.”

Zevlor rubbed his chin, casting a burning evaluating eye upon her. “Aradin lacks the discipline that comes with experience. Thank you for your help at the gate.”

He accepted her hand but thankfully didn’t need much assistance getting back on his feet, despite his long lean frame Tav could feel the surprising weight of him straining her arm. His heavy armor fit him well but had seen better brighter days. He raked a gnarled hand through his dark hair as he straightened himself and sighed deeply regaining his composure. He didn't have the air of a bureaucrat. Perhaps a war torn paladin who’d had leadership thrust upon him, a situation he looked to be deeply regretting in this moment.

“I would offer hospitality to show my gratitude but you’ve caught us in dire straits.” he gestured around. “The druids of the grove have become rather hostile to outsiders, and with their leader now captured by goblins I doubt the situation will diffuse.”

“We are not staying. We stopped for information as to the location of the Githyanki your scouts spoke of yesterday.” Laezel cut in.

“We do need a healer, and could benefit from some supplies if there’s a trader.” Tav eyed her. Zevlor nodded in contemplation.

“Halsin would have been your best option for a healer, his apprentice Nettie can handle some minor ailments. She’s further into the grove with the rest of the druids.” he pointed off and to the right. “I must see to my people. We may be forced out and onto the road sooner than I was hoping. Please be careful around the druids, as I said they’re on edge and this latest news will make them all the more prickly.”

“Thank you, I’m Tav by the way.” Zevlor hesitated as he turned to leave, before addressing Laezel.

“If you come with me I can show you where we last encountered the Githyanki, I can draw you up a map of the area.” As Laezel and Zevlor started down the hill, Tav felt a niggling feeling that she should send someone with them in case Laezel needed some smoothing over. They’d all been pretty useless in diffusing the argument a couple minutes ago so it might be a crap chute either way. Down the hill she spied what looked like a trader set up with a few odds and ends.

—

Prickly was an understatement. They’d arrived in the inner sanctum just in time to manage to talk the interim leader out of murdering a tiefling child. Yeah she tried to take their stupid idol to stop the ritual. Obviously not the best diplomatic strategy, and as it turned out, the masterplan of the resident guild leader. Of course the guild leader happened to be yet another tiefling waif named Mol. She seemed to be incharge the remaining stray kids that made it out of Elturel and was running them like a little miniature backwoods thieves guild. Which didn’t bother Tav as much as the fact that Mol was doing a terrible job and kept seemingly sending the little ones into frankly dangerous situations utterly under prepared.

One had tried to pickpocket her while at a shop stall and immediately burst into real shameful tears when caught. A little boy had almost been eaten by harpies. Then there was poor Arabella with the whole kerfuffle with the idol, and she was the only one who had both parents.

As bad as Mol was, Kagha was worse. Kagha was the leader of the druids in Halsin’s absence. Mol was a child dealing with a sh*t situation with no guidance. Kagha was a snotty little brat in the body of a grown ass adult elf. A druid on top of it all. You’d think youthful indiscretions would be something a self proclaimed naturalist could understand. No, the druids were so stirred up and pissy that they’d picked up their toys and left, wouldn’t even help the tieflings protect the grove, their own home, from the goblins.

There were a lot of insular groups spread out through Faerun, Tav had grown up in one herself, she could understand not trusting people. Children and animals had always been her weak spots.

She’d chewed at a spot on the inside of her cheek the whole walk back to camp. She didn’t want to get involved in the nature dickhe*ds v tiefling dispute, had no real opinions on Zevlor or the somehow more self infatuated wizard (who also didn’t seem to have a last name thank you very much). Wait, is that a tiefling thing or a wizard thing?

Tav shook her head. One thing was clear the goblin issue would need to be taken care of, for Halsin to remove the tadpoles and to protect those kids from the viper broodmother.

—

“What about a person? Could you siphon magic off of Wyll, he seems to have some arcane abilities?” Tav bristled at Gale. She wasn’t certain if warlocks and wizards both used the weave, but if she could find a way to feed Gale’s affliction without losing another pair of boots that would be ideal.

“Ethical qualms aside I suppose if we happened upon someone who both could channel the weave and would consent to allowing their body to be a conduit, then yes that might work. Although given that I happen to be the only wizard of note in the immediate area I think that plan is a nonstarter.”

“He’s still miffed about that wizard tiefling’s boasting.” Astarian grumbled under his breath as he wiggled his fingers in their air in a mocking show of casting. Rolan was supposed to be on his way to Baldur’s Gate to apprentice under some incredibly powerful wizard named something that sounded very made up. He’d been put out that his siblings wanted to stay and help the other refugees, and even more put out that Gale hadn’t heard of this Lorroakan. Rolan didn’t know who Gale was either, and he was supposed to be the chosen of their god. Maybe wizards should leave their towers more.

“I’m just saying we can’t always hope to come across useless enchanted items, having those boots could have come in handy, or at least being able to sell them for more than just their leather.” Tav pinched the bridge of her nose as she shifted her weight to her other leg. It’s not like he could really control his condition and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was really annoyed with him or herself for letting it bother her. Gale did look like a sad child at the moment.

“I’m not saying you’re not worth it, I’m sorry, I’m just trying to explore all of our options.” she soothed. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Hugging was what you were supposed to do to comfort upset people. If you hadn’t been raised by an emotionally stunted and comfort averse species. Honestly she wasn’t clear yet on which hugs lead to comfort and which lead to trying to eat each other’s faces, an act she’d offended witnessed in pubs but had never really been in a position to ask.

“You are weak and your spongy body crumbles too easily in battle, so I am saying you are not worth the boots.” Laezel offered flatly. Ok so you aren’t the worst at this. In this group. At least.

A metallic thump registered behind Tav which must have been Shadowheard punching Laezel’s armor. Tav wasn’t sure if it was to shut her up or because Shadowheart had wanted to say something similar.

“It’s going to be ok, we’re going to figure this out even if we have to knock over every overstuffed wizard tower between here and Baulder’s Gate. We’ll start setting aside items that meet your needs so that we’re better prepared next time.” She smiled warmly. Softness might not be something she was good at but planning certainly did. Gale’s eyes warmed as the sincerity in her eyes (even if it was the sincere love of deciding on a plan of action) washed over him.

They finished their dinner around the fire. Wyll had joined the camp that evening, as he was also team ‘worm in the brain’. He’d gotten pinched tracking a one horned devil on the nautiloid, one he was sure was still in the area and was hoping to catch before they could cause too much trouble. The trail had gone cold near the grove and he’d taken a brief respite to see if he could help the tieflings prepare for another goblin attack.

He seemed to have boundless energy and a severe hardon for justice. Or at least what he viewed as justice. Tav thought Wyll might be able to take reins of the group, maybe he was a little naive but a strong moral compass could keep them out of trouble.

Her belly was full and warm from the thick stew Gale had made, her mind a little dizzy from a bottle of mead Zevlor had offered them in thanks. Unlike the rat piss wine, the mead had smelled warm and sweet, her curiosity had gotten the better of her and it hadn’t taken much to go to her head.

As the fire embers died down she excused herself from the remaining group and slipped past the flap in her tent. Her skin felt prickly as she shed her camp clothes and crawled into her bedroll. The distant sounds of Laezel giving Gale some advice on the lost art of dodging, lulled her to sleep.

She dreamed of home. The heat of a city nestled into a protective pocket beside an active volcano deep in the underdark. Traveling on the surface as a human dulled her nerves to what would have felt achingly cold to her skin. Her sleeping mind, aided by the mead, dredged up dark memories she’d worked hard to bury deep like cursed precious gems. Flashes of a small topside forge, watching a stranger staring back at her from a mirror, taunts, jeers, and back alley fights. The feeling of being held down and pain searing across her flesh. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. A soft rustle of fabric barely registered in her ears and her eyes flew open, her hand shooting out from her bedroll grasping for a weapon or a shoe.

“sh*t…” Astarion jumped back startled. He’d been bent over her, his crimson eyes wild and hungry as he eyed the makeshift weapon in her hand. It was indeed a shoe.

“It’s not what it looks like, I swear.” he offered in a hushed urgent tone.

“Astarion I swear to all the hells below if you have come into my tent to eat my shoes because you also have some stupid weave addiction Withers will have a hard time cleaving your soul back to the jelly that is your body.” It had been a long day and she was at the very end of her rope.

“Your shoes?” He blinked in exasperation before the mask slipped over his face once more, affixed with a pleading smile. “No, I just needed, well, blood. Just a quick nibble, I wasn’t going to hurt you I promise.”

Tav stared at him in the darkness as her brain sluggishly churned his words through the sleep and adrenaline from her system. Like a swift poke to her brain it hit her. She released a deep sigh dropping her shoe and sunk back down to the ground across from him.

“I’m so blind, of course, of course you’re a vampire.” she gestured at him before rubbing her face roughly with her hands. “How long has it been since you’ve killed someone? I’m guessing your bowl of stew ended up dumped in the bushes.”

The real crime. Wasted stew. There were carrots and potatoes and everything.

“I’ve never killed anyone…” His voice had an air of forced innocence that would have made even the most accomplished courtesan blush. Tav’s self control was hanging on by a thread as she felt her face contort into an exasperated retort that needed no words.

She’d really wanted a second bowl of stew. It would have lessened the effects of the mead. And there were potatoes. And carrots.

“...for food that is.” he clarified. His pupils were shot wide in hunger and he couldn’t help but linger his eyes needily on her neck for a moment. “I feed on animals, boars, deer, kobolds, anything I can get. It’s not enough, if I have to fight. I feel so weak. If I had just a little blood I could think clearer. Fight better. Please.”

A sincere request? A vulnerable moment. She hadn’t been honest about who she was, out of fear, it stood to reason her companions may be in the same situation. She could have asked why, she could have said no, but they all needed each other. This is why you don’t let yourself get attached to things, it makes you weak and vulnerable. You could have had seconds if you’d just killed him and left him the bushes where you found him.

“Do I have to lay down like that?” she gestured back to her makeshift nest. “With you just leering over me? It makes me feel like I don’t have any control over the situation, not that I need to be in control of everything all the time.” her words trailed off as his face perked up and shifted to sit closer to her.

“Would leaning back against me feel more secure?” He patted his lap and opened his arms wide. A dubious look clouded Tav’s face as she contemplated. There was no way to do this without having her personal space encroached upon.

She suddenly preferred the detached process of handing over enchanted items to Gale. At least some strange, yes handsome but still strange, man didn’t have to curl up in the nape of her neck to hand over an enchanted ring for Gale to chomp on.

Can you taste underdark on someone? Would he be able to tell that she didn’t taste right? Her brain raced like a frightened rabbit in the woods. She cleared her throat and shifted so her body slipped between his legs, and leaned her back against his chest. He draped a hand on each of her shoulders, long cool fingers pressing lightly into her flesh.

“You can trust me.” he whispered softly into her ear, his breath sending the loose wisps of her hair dancing across her skin sending a shiver down her spine. “I only need a taste I swear.”

This might be worse than laying down. A deep familiar warmth rose up from her abdomen like hot molten butterflies. What was she supposed to do with her hands? Did she want to touch him? Did he want her to? She gingerly shifted against him and laid her palms lightly on his thighs. Tav could feel his legs tense under the fabric and was suddenly aware of how dry her tongue was, how it stuck to the roof of her mouth. This is dumb, you’ve touched a man before you idiot. You’ve lain with people. This isn’t even that. You’re just a sandwich at best. An idiot sandwich.

“Ok, but if you go too far I will haunt you until the end of time.” she put on an air of bravado that he could no doubt see right through from this distance, even without telepathic wormitis.

“I would expect nothing less my dear.” He smelled of bergamot, rosemary, and fine brandy, with the slightest undercurrent of turned soil like a freshly dug grave. His icy fingers brushed gently across her neck as he swept her hair to the side, and for a moment she could feel him slightly rocking his head giving them both a silent count down. The gentle friction between his chest and her back did not help the phantom burning sensation spreading across her chest. Maybe I’ll spontaneously combust, that’s a thing that happens right? The whole tent could go up in flames and it’ll all be over. One. Two. Three.

Two sharp simultaneous pricks and then the languid pulse of blood seeped up through the tiny punctures. His cold tongue tentatively swathed across her wounds as his soft lips sealed against her throat. Tav noticed the tension in his body, coiled like a cornered snake, and felt it suddenly release through a deep exhale his breath catching strands of her hair and billowing it briefly in the air. Her pulse quickened as her neck began to sting and burn, but he wrapped an arm tightly across her chest, pinning her like as surely as an iron bar, pressing her back tighter into his chest.

“Astarion…” she warned, her voice was small.

You can trust me. His words danced in her head. Was it a memory or a projected connection from their parasite?

No, she was stupid, this was stupid. Trust is the currency of the weak.

“Astarion, that’s enough…” her hands clawed pathetically at his arm. “..it hurts.”

Stinging hot tears boiled up unwanted from her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. They take and take and take. Until you have nothing but a worm in your brain and a dingy tent with a sad bedroll to call home. She could feel her fear boiling over into a rage.

Adrenaline pumping, she leaned forward sharply and slammed her elbow forcefully backwards into his side, breaking his hold. He had the feral strength his hunger gave him, but the move was more than force, it was calculated to exploit what little leverage she could use. The small gap gave her enough space to tuck her chin and wriggle her shoulders out of his grasp. She scrambled across the floor to grab a short sword from the corner of her tent and stared at him with cold eyes. He’d sputtered a bit but seemed to barely register the hit. Like a cat toying with a mouse, the cat would barely notice a swat from a mouse’s paw.

“Darling, you’ll have to forgive me, you taste,” he noted breathily. He drew a thumb across his mouth to catch what had spilled before slowly suckling, not wasting a drop, “positively divine. I got a little carried away.”

“You’re about to be carried away in tiny little pieces.” Tav snarled.

He collected himself and made his way to her tent flap. “I won’t forget this kindness darling. You won’t regret this. I feel stronger, faster. Happy. Now if you will excuse me the forest awaits.”

He bowed out dramatically, sauntering off into the darkness.

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Shadowheart was handy with a restoration spell that morning. “Te absolvo.” she chanted as her magic leapt from her hands to Tav’s flesh.

“You’re not hiding something dangerous I need to know about?” Tav eyed her, the question was meant as a hopeful distraction from being counseled on whether it was wise to feed party members from your personal inventory. Frankly it was probably also unwise to have the resident sharran cleric as their primary healer, but you make due with what you’re given in a situation. Sometimes the situation just involves weird pivots, like who would have guessed that mr. archmage magic supreme was a fantastic cook? Apparently when he’d first come down with the magic item munchies he’d locked himself away in his tower with only his cat for company and when he wasn’t researching he indulged in cooking as a hobby. Tav smiled happily into her bowl of oatmeal. He’d made a little face on top out of berries and a vanilla bean pod.

“None of us should really be surprised, the signs weren’t exactly subtle.” Shadowheart offered in a curt tone between bites. “I would have thought it was obvious, guess I should have said something before he bit someone.”

“Oh indeed, and such a keen eye you have dear, always walking into traps I’ve already pointed out.” Astarion tutted, unmoved by the daggers Shadowheart shot back with a single look in his direction.

“Why not tell us from the beginning?” she glared.

“Well you see, I have this terrible allergic reaction to being staked through the heart, and honestly I assumed we’d either be cured or mindflayers by this point.”

“I suppose I can understand that. Maybe more than most I suppose.” Shadowheart eyed everyone in the group. “But no more secrets, from any of you, understand?”

Tav made a noncommittal noise before shoveling a heaping spoonful of oatmeal in her mouth.

“I like to think of myself as rather open minded. I’d even go as far as to say it’s one of my finer qualities, and there’s some stiff competition in that department.” Gale chuckled. “Honestly, I don’t care if you eat blood or boiled eggs for breakfast, if we’re to survive this parasitic adventure of ours we’ll need to trust each other.”

“Yes and while we’re on the subject, Gale I believe I saw some delicious gloves for sale back in the grove. If you’re feeling peckish later.” Astarion rose from the makeshift breakfast circle and bowed his head while making a wide sweeping gesture with his arms, like a slight bow. “Very well, less secrets, no biting without asking, can we move on to whatever new fresh hell Faerun has in store for us today?”

Tav finished her breakfast and made her way to her tent to finish pulling on her armor and securing her pack. As she turned to leave she noticed a silhouette cast on the wall of her tent, someone was waiting for her outside. Judging by the stance and mop of curly hair, it was Astarion. He shifted his weight to his left leg and brought his arm up level with his waist. Is he composing himself?

She watched his shadow shift his weight once more, squaring up his shoulders, almost as if he were preparing a speech. He turned to walk away and must have thought better of it because he only made it a few steps before coming back. Whatever it is he had to say, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone in her tent for it. She opened the flap, pretending to have not seen him.

“Oh hello my dear. How are you feeling?” His voice was almost a soft purr, and as she searched his face trying to get a read on him all she could see was an artfully constructed mask of confidence and just enough concern to cross the border from indifference. But indifference doesn’t waver outside your tent, indifference wouldn’t bother to even ask unless prompted. She found herself hesitating. “From last night?” he prodded.

She unconsciously reached for the still tender spot on her neck as her eyes suddenly felt pulled away by a rather ordinary spot of dirt on her boots. “Shadowheart was able to restore me a bit this morning. It shouldn’t slow me down.”

That must be his concern. He tended to get moody if they lingered anywhere boring for too long. Or helped anyone that they couldn’t benefit from helping. She’d let him get too close to her last night, she’d have to remedy that with calculated distance.

He raised his hand tentatively, a brief pause to assess if she’d allow him to examine her. She raised her chin and tilted her chin up in answer, he gently brushed her hair aside, his form briefly blocking the sunlight. Despite Shadowheart’s efforts the skin was bruised, red, and ragged from his teeth being ripped from her flesh so violently. The sides of his mouth briefly dipped down and his eyebrows knitted together in concern.

He hadn’t meant to scare her. On impulse he gently ran his gloved thumb over the two marks, they were puckered from scabbing. She winced, the tiny flutter brought a moment of softness to his eyes. He felt something he’d assumed had been long since dead stir somewhere deep inside him, only for a moment before he squashed it back down.

—

The day had brought them very little in the goal of locating the druid. What it did provide was a brief run in with a few absolutists, one of which called themselves a true soul whatever that was, he was accompanied by his siblings, an unfriendly woman and a man who looked as though he’d just barely missed having his head taken off by an ax. His hair was not so lucky.

They also came face to face with an owlbear and her cub. Tav had the biggest dumbest face of wonder as she took the beast in with her eyes. It took a good amount of convincing from her companions and the owlbear herself that she could not just adopt the adult and her cub and needed to leave the cave or else become their lunch. Then they stumbled upon a dog who’s owner had been thrashed by gnolls. Another adoption attempt. What Tav lacked in trusting her fellow bipedal creatures she made up for in childlike wonder of any critter, dangerous or not, that they happened across.

“She would have bit your head off in one snap of her beak.” Gale rubbed his face in anguish. He was not making any headway.

“That’s just because she had a spear stuck in her.” Tav smiled up at the trees as they made their way along the road. “You would be in a bad mood too if someone came into your cave and stabbed you.” If she meant this as a jab at Astarion for his intrusion last night she gave no sign, she just kept rambling at Gale as they strolled at an overly leisurely pace. “At least Shadowheart was able to be sneaky with that healing spell, maybe she’ll be in a better mood on our way back to camp.”

Gale didn’t want to clarify if Tav meant the owlbear or Shadowheart, who'd been irked to discover that the cave was also home to a small Selune worship site. Shadowheart who still hadn’t announced herself as a worshiper of Selune’s sister and nemesis Shar, but everyone had agreed to let her air her business on her terms. Nevermind that her armor was about as telling as a shout in the face.

Astarion’s nimble fingers quickly worked a dagger through a patch of mushroom stems and popped the caps into his bag. Tav seemed to be the only one in the group that might let him feed on her, again probably due to some flaw in her overly thick skull or her fondness for dangerous creatures, he’d need to soothe over the events from last night if he hoped to drink for her again. A nice healthing potion and a salve to calm the wounds would be a good start, if that didn’t work maybe he could capture some horrible creature for her while out on an evening hunt. Something small, but dangerous enough to take off a finger perhaps. He wondered idly if drinking from an idiot would affect his own intelligence, his thoughts briefly brushing up against that feeling he’d squashed down earlier that morning. Maybe it was the worm. Maybe the higher quality blood didn’t agree with him. He spied a clump of bone caps further up the trail and stalked off to add them to his steadily growing collection.

“Do you have a soft spot for monsters in general or just a severely diminished survival instinct?” Gale looked pointedly at Tav’s neck. She blinked back at him blankly. “I guess we should thank the gods you didn’t try to pet any of the animals in the grove.”

“There was that strange ox, he had a very distinguished voice, if he’d been a person I bet he would have had a twirly mustache.” He’d probably let me pet him. It’d just add to his whole ‘I’m an ox, don’t think too much about it’ thing he has going on.

“Istick, I preferred when you were less chatty.” Laezel turned to face Shadowheart. “Perhaps you healed her too much.” Tav was still too excited from the day's animal encounters to feel ashamed by her reckless talking.

Her mind wandered back to the pet spider she’d had as a child. She’d always wanted a pet of her own and stumbling across the bright blue cave spider wounded near death, well she couldn’t very well just leave her to die. She’d nursed her back to health and named her Eyvie, she’d been a small hatchling so Tav was able to hide Eyvie in her room until she got to be about the size of the dog they’d seen earlier.

She was lost in her memories and hadn’t noticed herself meandering towards the edge of the path, or the drop down that disappeared into the forest. A thick twisted root snagged the toe of her boot and sent her tumbling downhill through the deep undergrowth.

She landed with a splash in fetid water that would have been about mid calf on her had she been standing and not sitting directly in the mud below the brackish surface. A sucking sensation and a loud squelch cut through the heavy air as she wrenched her hand free of the muck. Great, now I’ll have to wash all of this when we get back to camp. She craned her neck searching for a way back up but couldn’t see far enough through the native flora to feel confident. She forced herself slowly up onto her feet, pulling her armor away from her underclothes in an attempt to drain out some of the water and debris.

“Tav?!” Gale’s melodic voice was distant but recognizable. “By Elminster’s beard where did she get off to now?”

She groaned to herself and took a deep breath before shouting back “I fell down into some sort of swamp or bog.” Laezel’s raspy voice must have quickly rattled off a number of what passed for Githyanki curse words, Tav couldn’t quite catch the meaning but the tone did a fine job of translating. “I’m ok, I just don’t think I’m going to be able to climb back up.”

More hushed hurried tones, probably arguing about who should climb down to help. An indignant scoff from Astarion came through.

“Well I don’t see what that has to do with the situation.” his exasperated tone elevated the normal pomp of his voice.

“I’m just going to have a look around and see if there’s another way up.” She called out and didn’t wait for a response. The air already had the stench of rot and death on it, and her sloshing about in the murky water had only riled up the smell further. Bugs of varying sizes danced around her head in a stinky itchy halo.

Off in the distance was a squat residence that had clearly been built in the hollowed out remains of a rather large dead swamp tree stump. Maybe whoever lived there could help her figure out how to get back on the path.

—

“Astarion, now would be a fine time to put those vampire skills to the test, how about you turn into a fog or bat and fly down there to help her.” Shadowheart offered.

“Oh darling I would if I could, I’m technically a spawn. Those tricks are a little out of my repertoire. Not to mention I just got the stains from the crash out of this doublet.” his thin fingers fanned gracefully indicating a spot on his sleeve before seeing a rogue piece of lint and skillfully plucking it off.

“Despite the group’s general acceptance of your proclivities, Tav so far is the only one,” Gale paused as he searched for a kinder word “selfless enough, to donate her blood to you.”

“Well I don’t see what that has to do with the situation.” Astarion snapped back. As much as he did need a food source, and found that he preferred Tav’s blood to the wild creatures in the woods, he was loath to admit he needed or owed anyone anything.

He folded his arms across his chest in a huff and peered down into the brush. Tav’s voice floated up briefly indicating that she’d be looking around on her own. No doubt she’d try to befriend some hideous swamp monstrosity and try to bring it back to camp, the creature would probably be able to smell the wounds on her neck and would end up turning her into a shishkabob.

He groaned to himself. “Fine. Fine. I’ll go. But you know she’ll have us both up to our ears in trouble so keep looking for a way down.”

Gale smiled a broad winning grin and clasped a hand on Astarion’s shoulder. “Good man, I knew we could count on you.”

“Don’t touch me.”

—

“Hello again Petal, did you need another potion?” The old woman had a sacrine quality to her, like something added to medicine to cover the wretched taste.

“Ethel right? Not really, I kind of slipped and fell into this swamp?”

“You can call me Auntie, Petal. Nothing broken I presume?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Please Auntie Ethel, I don’t think I can stomach another bite.” A small voice suddenly grabbed Tav’s attention, until now she hadn’t noticed the slight blonde woman seated at the table.

“Gods grant me peace Mayrina, you need to build up your strength, you’re eating for two don’t you know.” there was a steely quality to her voice, under the sweet. Ethel turned back to Tav. “Now Petal, if you’ll remove that glamor spell I’ll give you a quick look over so we can get you back on the road.”

Tav swallowed hard, the old woman was much more than she seemed.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, your duergar mind masters are good but not quite a match for old fey magic.” she crooned and tapped the side of her head pointedly. “A fine bit of craftsmanship that,” she pointed at the necklace around Tav’s throat, “I’d expect nothing less but you’re not quite clever enough to do the ritual on your own. You reek of someone who lined up twice for braun and completely missed out on the brains.”

“The hells are you?” Tav reflexively dropped her hand to her belt where her weapon was passively slung.

“Ah ah ah Petal, no need for that nasty violence you’re so good at. I’m just your garden variety little old hag. Now would you like help with that wriggler squirming around in your brain or not?”

“Auntie Ethel…” Mayrina called pathetically. Ethel turned to face the girl once more.

“Hush now dear, the adults are speaking.” Mayrina was suddenly engulfed in a blinding green light and a heavy smell of mold wafted through the hut. As the light faded the girl was nowhere to be found.

“What are you going to do to her?”

“Never you mind the brat.” Ethel spat with irritation. “We have a deal, it’s better not to worry your poor half empty little head about other people’s business. Now about your wriggler.”

Tav chewed her lip. “What would you want in return for removing it?”

“Nothing really, I’d just need to remove one of your peepers. I’d kiss it for good luck and then I would pop it back in.” Tav narrowed her eyes and regarded the old woman suspiciously. Something caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end. She didn’t have experience with hags but she knew well enough that big magic came with a price and that those who struck deals often came out the otherside wishing they hadn’t.

“I’ll have to think about it, talk to my companions and get back to you.” she said as she slowly backed towards the door.

“Whatever you wish, Petal, just don’t wait too long, I would hate to see that lovely glamored face split in two as you feasted on the brains of one of those poor tiefling babes.” Ethel called after her as she waved, a mischievous smirk stretching far too wide across her face.

She was deep in thought as she hurried out the door and down the steps, almost walking directly into Astarion. She swerved at the last second and lost her footing on the step causing her to spin and land face down in the dirt. sh*t sh*t sh*t. Had he heard their conversation? Elves are supposed to have good hearing. His delicate hand reached out into her field of view and she stared at it briefly before taking it in her own as he helped her to her feet.

“Gods you’re dense in more ways than one.” he grunted.

“Well maybe if someone didn’t stalk around like some sort of…” her brain was too flustered to come up with a decent retort, “...stalker. How long were you standing there.”

“I promise darling, it wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop. I wanted to have the advantage on the old lady in case things went south as they tend to do when you talk to people.” His eyes wandered over her face, searching, but her expression betrayed nothing beyond the irritated expression she’d given him most of the day.

“I think I may have found the path that leads back out. Shall we, my dear?”

—

They’d managed to make it back to camp without incident. Gale had been kind enough to offer Tav a soap from his secret stash. She wasn’t sure if it was more for her benefit or the camps, either way she was grateful to not smell like a fungating cesspit. Her armor was stacked up on a large boulder by the river to dry, hopefully the sun and fresh air tomorrow would do a lot of the heavy lifting for the smell.

She’d relayed the hag’s offer about the worm to the group, leaving out the mention of her glamor for now. Although honestly she was growing tired of a mask. Subterfuge wasn’t one of her strong points, and the spell had never meant to be active this long.

She secured her rinsed clothes to a line to dry before making her way back to the fire in the middle of camp. It seemed as though everyone had drifted off to their tents, leaving just her and Astarion who was sprawled out on his back gazing up at the stars.

For a moment his deep red eyes flit over Tav’s body. Despite being fully covered in her camp clothes, she felt completely exposed like a cold breeze had washed over her skin.

“It’s quite a sight.” the corners of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. She felt a deep queasiness in the pit of her stomach as a stinging heat spread from the tips of her ears across her cheeks.

“The stars, I mean.” his smile continued to grow, the cat had returned to play. “I could take or leave your chin”

“I think you know that this isn’t my chin.” she gestured roughly at her face. He pushed himself up onto his elbows, a mischievous grin exposing his fangs.

“So what do you look like without that magic of yours? I’m usually the most vain person I know but be glamored constantly?” he tutted. He rose to his feet and slinked closer. “What delicious secrets are you hiding?”

Tav scoffed and made to walk past him. He wasn’t interested in her, whatever these flirtations of his were, there was an angle. He caught her by the wrist and effortlessly spun her around to face him, closing the distance with a slightest step in with his long legs. His silk shirt was a fine quality, she could feel his smooth cool flesh almost like a statue underneath. He released her wrist and gently pressed the back of her waist while his other hand cupped her chin and tilted her face up to his. Again he let his eyes roam over her face. Tav briefly considered screaming but found herself frozen in place, her throat felt paralyzed.

Astarion let go of her chin and slowly petted the pendant under her tunic. “What would happen if someone were to yank this off of you?” His breath smelled like wine and the briefest hint of copper. She swallowed hard and stealed herself, when she spoke it was in a whisper. “I’d probably beat the ever loving sh*te out of them.”

He laughed and loosened his grip. “Darling you’re so delightfully murderous sometimes. When you’re not rescuing puppies and kittens. I don’t even know why I was worried about you in the swamp today.”

“You were worried about me? You didn’t seem overly concerned for me last night.” He stiffened once more at her words, a brief moment caught off guard.

“Yes, about that, you were kind and I…” his words faltered and he seemed to suddenly become aware how intertwined they were at the moment. A flicker of a pained expression played over his face. Genuine. He released Tav and stepped away to create space, bringing a hand up to rake through his silver curls. “I’ve never had blood from a thinking creature. I didn’t expect it, you, to taste…like that.”

Taste like what? Certainly she didn’t taste that different from a bear. The way he talked about it feeding on her hand almost sounded…nope we are not going there. Maybe she tasted like a really good stew, with mushrooms and noodles. Something hearty. Heheh hearty.

Tav chewed at the spot on the inside of her cheek. It was a bad habit. No doubt she’d have an extra hole in her face by the time this whole ordeal was over. She could empathize with losing control and hurting someone. “I’m a gray dwarf. From the underdark.”

“A duergar? Gods I thought your kind didn’t leave your little caves, I’ve never even seen one before.”

“Technically you still haven’t.” she snorted. “And you might not, I don’t imagine having a gray dwarf will do wonders for us out here in the country. The druids don’t seem welcoming to outsiders, and would probably be less so to undersiders. Drow seem to get a pass in the cities but I think that’s part of the whole elven beauty thing.”

“My dear, certainly one incredibly gorgeous elf is more than enough for our band of miscreants. You have other qualities that more than make up for any…shortcomings in the looks department.”

“Is that a short joke?” she shot back flatly. “You know I can cast enlarge, I don’t know a lot of spells but that one is handy.”

“Oh?” he fluttered his soft eyelashes “Are you offering to teach it to me? Not that I’ve had any complaints.”

“Sure you haven’t. I’m sure it’s hard to get feedback ‘talk to dead’ doesn’t usually work if you’re the one who killed them.”

Tav found herself smiling as she climbed into her tent.

Chapter 4: Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Tav had wanted to check in on the owlbear and didn’t really want to listen to a big fuss over what a dumb idea it was. That’s what she told herself as she stole away from her bedroll in the wee hours the next morning. A short walk to the cave, she’d just peek in for a second to check that they were both ok and then she’d be back in time for breakfast. As she came to the little creek in front of the cave, she examined her reflection before removing the thin chain clasped around her neck and stowing the piece of jewelry deep in her boot. She’d see better in the cave with her natural eyes.

The cool damp air and the echo of flowing water felt soothing, almost distracting from the smell of rotten meat and animal excrement. She was clever enough to make herself invisible, but no doubt the use of Gale’s soaps last night would give her presence away as surely as if she’d marched in with a brass band. That man no doubt had the fanciest bath setup in all of Waterdeep. She idly wondered what sort of arcane upgrades could be used to enhance the grooming experience. Mage hand to scrub those hard to reach spots obviously, but how luxurious would it be to have a couple to shampoo and massage the scalp? Come on focus.

It didn’t take long to spy the hulking form of two adult owl bears stretched out towards the back of the cave. Watching them with baited breath for a few minutes, Tav realized they weren’t breathing. She dared draw closer, if the baby was injured it could need help.

Goblin spears jutted out from the soft feathery bodies. A wave of sadness washed over her, they were beautiful creatures. No sign of the little one, maybe it was able to escape through a hole higher up in the cave. With little effort she jumped onto the ledge above her, landing with a soft crunch on the gravely surface. A small tunnel that curved up through a mass of tree roots. It wasn’t big enough for the cub but she could probably squeeze through.

She scrambled through and came out at the base of a tree somewhere further up the hill the cave disappeared into. Getting her head and shoulders out was easy work but the struggle came to freeing her hips. She’d been thankful not to have ended up on the bustier side of the spectrum like some of her cousins, but she couldn’t escape the tail end of the family assets as it were. Not that dwarves were known for having svelte frames. Wide hips did seem to help keep her center of gravity lower to the ground, it always thrilled her to subvert enemy expectations that she was easy to toss around due to her height.

Using a dagger to stake into the ground for more leverage, she slowly worked her way out of the hole. The muscles in her arms burned in protest. She would be sore later and she welcomed it, it had been too long since she’d pushed her body.

She lay in the dirt catching her breath and marveled at the sunlight filtering through the tree’s canopy. Definitely too small for the cub to have come through that hole. A soft breeze tousled her hair and swept across the bare parts of her flesh causing little goosebumps. A familiar smell barely registered. It was hellfire. Faint, but not far off.

—

Tav liked Karlach right away. Someone must have sold Wyll one hell of a falsehood about the tiefling, because short of being in danger of being on the receiving end of a hot spine crushing hug from her, she was an aces. Tav had followed that unmistakable smell of hellfire to a clearing by a stream and found Karlach engulfed in flames.

“You feel that soldier?” Karlach smirked and thumped her chest. Most of her upper torso was a tangled mess of scar tissue peeping out from strips of studded leather but there was a light glowing from deep inside her chest that seemed to be fueling the flames that licked across her flesh. “Infernal engine for a heart. It’s been running hot since we hoofed it out of Avernus on that mindflayer ship. You wouldn’t happen to know any blacksmiths in the area that could take a look?”

“There was a tiefling smith over in the grove, I think he’s with the group from Elturel, might be your best bet. It’s not too far from camp. I should warn you though, there’s someone looking for you.”

“Aw Anders, that little yappy bloodhound sh*te? I was hoping I could talk you into helping me knock his teeth back to the hells. Him and his crew are held up in the house up on the hill.”

Tav couldn’t help but chuckle. “You are popular. I meant the Blade of Frontiers, he’s back at my camp, he seems to think you’re a danger to the whole Sword Coast.”

“Only if the Sword Coast is in a heavy drought season.” Karlach flashed a brilliant smile, competed with sharp pointed canines and laughed at her own joke. “I thought I’d shaken him for good when I snuck aboard that ship. f*cking Zariel just can’t let me go.” Karlach spat. Tav had seen snippets of her time in the blood war when their tadpoles had connected. It seemed everyone in their merry little band had something or someone they were running from. At least Karlach seemed uncomplicated, apart from not being able to touch people, and a formidable warrior. She’d fit right in if Tav could talk Wyll out of starting anything.

“How would you feel about dropping in on those fake paladins before meeting everyone?” It was a dumb idea, but Tav was feeling more herself today than she had in a long time. On the other hand it wouldn’t be good to leave the camp open to a surprise attack, better to take care of the threat now. Karlach flashed another wicked grin and had a gleam in her eye.

“f*ck yes.”

—

“You didn’t think it would be a good idea to just pop your head out and ask where she was headed?” Gale had truly mastered the art of the mother hen, exasperated hands-on-hips talking to. Astarion wondered what Gale would look like with little rollers in his hair. Maybe that’s how he achieved those loose windswept curls.

Most of the group had gathered around the fire and were discussing whether to go looking for Tav, who’d been gone since before daybreak. Astarion hadn’t been worried but was considering striking out to look for her for no other reason than to get Gale to stop grousing.

“Hmm? Honestly, if I stopped to ask every time one of you stomped around in the wee hours I’d never finish my trance.”

“You don’t think she went back to see the hag do you?” Wyll offered. “We should go to the swamp.”

Shadowheart casually swirled the wine in her glass. “More likely she stopped to rescue some horrible creature, dark lady help her.”

Laezel continued to sharpen her sword; they'd taken to moving her tent further away from the group since she insisted on being battle ready at all times. The noise was a constant background to all camp conversations, like an overly aggressive mosquito.

Astarion would have probably heard the bawdy singing before he smelled Tav’s blood if it hadn’t been for the racket. Once he caught the scent he shot up to his feet from his perch by the campfire.

“Someone is coming, and I smell Tav, she’s hurt.” His swift hurried steps took him to the path that cut through the woods, the rest of the group in tow. Laezel’s true concern was shown as she ran to the front, sword at the ready. Maybe she was just really itching to kill something. “Over there…”

A tall strong tiefling was cutting a wide swath along the dirt trail, pushing a cart with a lantern dangling out the front to light the way. Not that she really needed one, given she was also slightly on fire herself.

Shadowheart let out a soft whistle through her lips. “She looks like she could throw me over her shoulder and carry me to safety.” She smirked and caught the ire of mother Gale. “If it came to that of course.”

The tiefling was singing. A rather boisterous tune about an intrepid flute player who found herself in possession of an enchanted pipe that seemed to guarantee standing ovations from the patrons that were capable of that sort of thing. At the chorus an obviously inebriated Tav belted out her added rendition from under a blanket in the cart. At the sight of the now confused group, Karlach stopped singing and pulled back a flap of the blanket.

“Hey soldier, I think we’re here.” A shock of white hair poked out from under the flap, followed by two bright silver eyes like two stars had been plucked from the heavens and set into their very own midnight sky of her face. Deep blue skin was a pretty normal color for underdark races, the mottled purple looked to be bruising, plus blushing from the inebriation.

“Shadowheart…a building fell on me…” Tav’s drunk voice came from the stranger’s face as she dropped her head back and thrust her arms forward. “And tell Wyll that we’re not sending Karlach back to Avernus, if he makes a fuss I’ll have his enchanted eye until he can see reason.”

A little burp and giggle rose from her pinkened lips and she reached up to cover her mouth with her hand. Astarion watched her, fascinated. He was sure he’d heard that duegar were often bald, and that it wasn’t uncommon for female dwarves to have equally impressive displays of facial hair as the males. Even obviously singed and bloodied, her silver white hair seemed to glow like strands of moonlight, cascading down past her shoulders to the midpoint of her back just above her waist. Her face was hairless, save for a pair of eyebrows and thick lashes that he suddenly realized her eyes were looking up at him through. The little rounded tips of her ears poking out from her hair started turning a deep raspberry.

“Like I said, she found another stray.” Shadowheart continued towards the cart.

“Yes but I also brought you wine.” Tav hiccuped and pulled a bottle from beside her to shake in Shadowheart’s direction.

“And turning yourself into a gray dwarf with a strategic decision?” Shadowheart’s hand was already pressed to Tav’s forehead, blue light surging from one into the other. Astarion cleared his throat.

“No. She is one. She has an enchanted bauble that lets her cast and maintain a glamor.”

“The damned necklace!” Gale swore in excitement. “I knew there was something arcane about it!” Tav shuffled under the blanket and suddenly lurched from the cart grabbing onto the closest body she could find, her unexpected weight dragging on Gale’s robes until they both fell to the ground.

“You can’t eat my necklace Gale.” her eyes were wide with fear. “It’s special, and not just magical special.”

“I’m not going to eat your necklace.” his voice was soft and he gently patted her shoulder. “Let’s get her back to camp.”

—

The sun slipping in through the crack in her tent flap hit her square in the face, which was too bright for her mouth being so dry. Tav tried to stretch, the protest in her body told her it’d been a restless sleep full of nightmares. She sat up and rubbed her pounding head before pulling off her remaining armor and striding out in her camp clothes.

“Hey-ho!” Alcohol was clearly more agreeable with Karlach. Maybe her engine burned it off faster. She sat next to Wyll, who was now sprouting his own set of fetching horns, and had been engrossed in talking about dispatching devils and a wide variety of hellbeasts. She found an empty spot between Astarion and Shadowheart and plopped down.

“How’s your head?” Gale offered as he passed her a plate of eggs.

“Loud.” She winced.

“You mentioned a building fell on it?” Shadowheart was nursing a hot cup of tea.

“Sorry about that soldier, I got a little heated up when we took out those paladins of Tyr.” It was hard to tell if Karlach was blushing, her fiery condition and deep scarlet complexion hid any change in her cheeks.

“Don’t worry Tav, Karlach and I talked it through and I’m not hunting her anymore.” Wyll made to wrap an arm around her shoulders but thought better of it when his arm hair started to singe. Tav chewed her breakfast thoughtfully.

“We should probably make a trip to the grove today to see if the blacksmith can look at Karlach’s engine and sell all our loot from the fake Tyr guys.”

Gale nodded and scratched his stubble. “Wouldn’t hurt to pick up some more rations and potion ingredients.”

—

As they made their way towards the grove Tav found herself falling back towards the end of the group. She’d let her mind wander.

“Does it have a meaning?” She blinked and looked up at Astarion. “That mark?” He asked again, pointing at her forearm. She hadn’t realized she’d been tracing the raised edges with her fingers.

“When you’re sent to the surface they mark you. So you can’t try to sneak your way into another settlement. Not that we’re particularly welcoming to outsiders to begin with.” They continued in silence a little further. If she really wanted these people to trust her she’d have to earn it by being honest. By sharing. “I showed someone mercy. In a moment of weakness.”

Astarion’s laugh cut through the quiet woods. She stopped and turned to face him. It was a deep full bodied laugh, his head thrown back and a hand on his chest. If not for the sound she would have thought he’d been shot with an arrow. Come to think of it, shooting him wasn’t a bad idea. “I should have guessed as much. You try to pick up any mangled creature or poor soul we pass on the road, by the time we reach Baldur’s Gate they’ll have forgotten all about the army of the Absolute for fear of the army of rag tag animals led by a duergar.”

She didn’t hate the sound of that. “I can offer you the rank of Colonel. You get a fancy hat.” She teased.

“I think I’ll pass dear, besides there are far more qualified candidates. I would look rather dashing in a uniform.” He purred, and puffed out his chest. Tav smiled up at him. He had the kind of ethereal beauty she’d only seen in children’s books, an undead elven prince, and she found herself wondering if he’d ever doubted the power of his looks.

As far as dwarves go, Tav wasn’t unfortunate looking even if their standards of beauty weren’t quite the same as the surface dwellers. Strength and purpose with little patience for frivolity, if she had been some breathtaking dwarven beauty she never would have known because what duergar would appreciate such a thing.

She found herself shaking her head to clear her thoughts. It didn’t matter, it wasn’t like this was the time or the place to be considering her appeal to others. This wasn’t a storybook, and she didn’t have much to offer other than allyship and physical strength.

“What did you do before all of this?” she gestured vaguely at their surroundings. His posture stiffened. She wasn’t the only one with dark shadows.

After a moment in deep thought he spoke. “I was a magistrate before I died.”

“That tracks.” she nodded before smiling coyly to herself. It takes him a moment to register her amusem*nt, his red eyes darting back to her face curiously.

“Do you have something you’d like to say darling?”

“It’s just you seem to have more experience with the finer things in life, and sometimes you can be…”

“Aristocratic? Refined?”

“Judgey.” her smile reached the corners of her eyes, thoroughly pleased with herself. Astarion regarded her with puzzled eyes.

“You know I think I’m with Laezel, as horrifying as that concept is, I preferred you more when you weren’t as chatty.” He huffed. She could see the slightest smirk play across his lips.

—

Dammon was absolutely smitten with Karlach. If there was anyone who could find a way to turn down the heat coming off of that infernal engine outside of the hells he’d be the one. Unluckily enough for him, he’d been a resident of Elturel when it fell into the hells. Incredibly lucky for Karlach though. He’d added ‘tracking down infernal iron’ to the ever growing to-do list, and been kind enough to actually add a marker to the mess of scribbles the group was using as a map for now. He’d smelled some over near a village to the west of the grove, possibly north of the swamp. Tav left Gale and Dammon excitedly brainstorming some sort of enchanted coolant for Karlach. As much as she’d love to talk shop, the ideal solution would be being able to swap out that engine for an actual heart.

Tav made her way down into the inner sanctum to speak to Nettie. She found the gold dwarf working her healing magic on a bluejay. When they'd first learned that the Archdruid was missing, Tav had asked why the druids weren't planning their own rescue. Obviously besides Kagha's desire to stay in charge. Nettie was sending birds. Who kept coming back injured. That was the best they could do. Which didn't inspire a lot of confidence, in a rescue mission or their problem solving skills.

“Give me a moment. I'll be right with you.” Nettie wasn’t as skilled a healer as Halsin, but everyone was doing the best they could in his absence. Except for Kagha, she seemed determined to do her worst. “Vis medicatrix...there. It's up to her now. Life or death.”

Nettie turned to Tav, her smile was warm but there was a slight pain in her eyes. Just days before Tav had visited her to see about removing the tadpole only to be told it was beyond her abilities and be given a vial of wyvern poison. Nettie had asked her to promise to use the poison if she felt herself start to change. She hadn’t the courage to tell her at the time but given her natural resistance to poison, the promise wasn’t much. No doubt the stout healer would be most displeased with what Tav had to say. She took a deep breath and told her.

“A gray dwarf.” Nettie frowned after a moment. “Never thought I'd meet a decent one, but after what you did at the gates, I’m inclined to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

“I appreciate that.” Tav reached into her pack and fished out the toxin, offering it back to Nettie. “I’m not sure how well this would work given my poison resistance. I’m not saying I won’t take care of things if I start to change, but should the grove be attacked every weapon helps.”

Nettie wrapped her hands around Tav’s gently and pushed the vial back to her. “I won’t need it because you’re going to bring Master Halsin back to us. Use it on yourself after, use it on the goblins, but you and your friends are the best hope of him coming back. Silvanus guide your path.”

“Nettie, I’m not a druid, Silvanus is probably sending a pack of wolves or something really dangerous and fluffy.” There had been the occasional werebadger in duergar society, supposedly a blessing from Laduguer, but Tav had only even been accused of having the table manners of one.